a dream memoir for the movement

Uncategorized

#17 One of Us

#17 One of Us (After Brightest Star) from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

When apparent stability disintegrates…
They create chaos and nurture it.
They kill and kill and kill,
Until they are exhausted and destroyed,
Until they are conquered by outside forces,
Or until one of them becomes
A leader Most will follow
Or a tyrant
Most fear.
-Octavia Butler

This poem is about one of my major disagreements with the philosophy deployed by Octavia Butler through Earthseed (which is very consistent in my mind with the worlds she depicts in her larger body of work.) What do you think? Do you think humans need one leader to follow or a tyrant to fear in order to unify? If so, I am not sure that Octavia Butler and I mean the same thing by “unity” or by “leader.” I get so tired of desires within my community for one charismatic leader to emerge to unify the people when as Ella Baker, Fannie Lou Hamer and so many others proved with their lives….there are leaders all around us, they are us!! Do you think we need one leader? Do you think we are inherently divided in response to change? How are we adapting?
There is one week and one day left before the Dark Sciences People of Color Dream Retreat and we still have thousands of dollars to raise for our scholarship fund. Maybe we should have charged the individuals who are coming much more…or maybe we were right to believe in the collective. Donate here: www.alexispauline.com/…/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-…/

And to see the rest of the videos so far check out: http://www.alexispauline.com/afterbrighteststar/


#16 Carnivorous Beauty

#16 Carnivorous Beauty (After Brightest Star) from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“When civilization fails to serve it must disintegrate unless it is acted on by unifying internal or external forces.” -Octavia Butler

This poem is about a gorgeous carnivorous plant. Is this us? Is this the U.S.? What are the traps spikes and seductions at play in our work together in the dynamics of this civilization? What do you attract and what happens once all that you/we attract draws close? Collaboration? Disintegration? Adaptation? All of the above? I would love to know your thoughts in the comments. And get your digital copy of the actual words of these wordy poems with your donation to the Dark Sciences People of Color Dream Retreat coming up next week.

http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/

And to see the other videos check out: http://www.alexispauline.com/afterbrighteststar


#15 Walls

#15 Walls: After Brightest Star from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“All struggles are essentially power struggles. And most are no more intellectual than two rams knocking their heads together.” -Octavia Butler

This poem is about the walls I have built up to protect myself from you, from trust, from myself. It’s not working. It is also a poem about a city built from blackmade bricks and the struggle for physical space that many people of color think about daily for their families and organizations. What are the walls that support you? What are the walls that entrap you? Why have you built the walls you have built? What are they made of and how are they working?

We are so excited about the Dark Sciences People of Color Dream Retreat coming up in 10 days (and there are more than 10 more poems so the videos will continue!!!) If you’d like to get all of the poems as a pdf or a beautiful print or a dream consultation donate here: http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/

If you want to see videos of the poems that have been posted so far go to: http://www.alexispauline.com/afterbrighteststar/about/


#14: For Your Consideration

#14 For Your Consideration (After Brightest Star) from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“To get along with God, consider the consequences of your actions.” -Octavia Butler

What if all of our actions and inactions are acts of God? Does that mean we are Gods in each others’ lives since we touch and change each other on a moment to moment basis? What kind of God have you been in your community? What kind of God have you been to your family and loved ones today? What kinds of Gods have you encountered all around you? Please do share your thoughts in the comments. And of course we would love it if you would get some beautiful art, a consultation or the full collection of these poems with your donation to Dark Sciences: A People of Color Dream Retreat!
http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/

We are super excited about our newest cosponsor Echoing Ida!!!!


#13 Campfire Art

#13 Campfire Art (After Brightest Star) from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“A tree cannot grow in its parent’s shadow.” -Octavia Butler

This poem is about how the histories of our family shadow our work together as organizers. Sometimes the presence of our parents and other people in our lineage and their hopes, dreams and failures loom large in the space. Larger than our intentions. Sometimes the work and legacy of our parents, grandparents etc. clarifies and helps us in our work. I am interested in what your experiences have been. Have there been times where you talked to a collaborator and suddenly realized you were projecting onto them a conversation you really wish you could have with your parents? Do you do your organizing work to honor and help care for your parents? Please share in the comments!

And of course we would love it if you would invest in the Dark Sciences: People of Color Dream Retreat! http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/


#12 be cause (for Zawadi Luna)

#12 be cause (for Zawadi): After Brightest Star from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“Why is God? To shape the universe. Why is the universe? To shape God.” -Octavia Butler

This poem is dedicated to young genius Zawadi Luna and to the necessary and transformative questions of children of color. What questions are the children of color around you asking? Do you answer them? Are they an invitation to realize that we don’t have the answers we think we have. Share the questions you’ve heard…and what happened next! 🙂

And of course we’d love it if you would support the Dark Sciences: Dream Retreat!
http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/


#11 Only

#11 Only (After Brightest Star) from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“Only we are Earthseed. And the destiny of Earthseed is to take root among the stars.” -Octavia Butler.

This is a pantoum about our ancestry and destiny as stardust. I hope you enjoy it. How do you feel about being related to stars? 🙂 Share your thoughts in the comments.

We hope you support the Dark Sciences: POC Dream Retreat! Find out about the perks here:
http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/


#10 Face

#10 Face (After Brightest Star) from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“Drowning people/ sometimes die/ fighting their rescuers.” -Octavia Butler

What does it take for us to face ourselves, to face the contexts of our lives honestly? How do we push away those same people who we were drawn to for deep healing when it gets too real? How do we push away the parts of ourselves that feel too scary. In addition to Octavia Butler, this poem draws on Lucille Clifton’s series of poems “Letters to Clark” where she speaks to Clark Kent about the myth of superheroes and how no one can save her from herself and the traumas she has experienced without her own participation.

Looking back, has there ever been a time when you pushed away someone who was trying to help you? Are there things that it is just too hard to face about yourself, even when you see them reflected in other people? How do we save each other from drowning and not elbow each other in our beautiful faces in the meantime?

Please leave any thoughts you have in the comments. And if you’d like to get these poems, get a collage, or have a one on one dream consultation please invest in the Dark Sciences People of Color Dream Retreat: http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/

We are so excited that New Voices of Pittsburgh is our newest organizational co-sponsor! Much love to each of you!


#9 Point Nine

#9 Point Nine (After Brightest Star) from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“Belief initiates and guides action—or it does nothing.” Octavia Butler

Have you ever had that moment when you feel like what you believe and what you are actually doing don’t quite match? Have you been frustrated when the stated beliefs of a group, organization or institution you are involved in and the actions and impact of that institution seem almost directly at odds? Well this is a poem about a time like that. This poem invokes point 9 in the Black Panther Party’s 10 point platform which talks about prison and the american impossibility of black people being tried by a true jury of their peers. Drawing on that revolutionary history (and the energy of the goddess of change Oya, represented in the number 9 and as the middle name of Octavia Butler’s fictional protagonist Lauren Oya Olamina) I am asking a question about what happens when we, as peers and collaborators, call each other out on our chosen prisons? How do we imprison ourselves and each other? How do we fail to liberate each other like we should?

Share your thoughts in the comments. And please do invest in the Dark Sciences Dream Retreat to get your own copy of these poems or other perks: www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/

And all power to the dreamers.


#8 P.O.

P.O. (After Brightest Star Poem #8) from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“Prodigy is, at its essence, adaptability and persistent, positive obsession. Without persistence, what remains is an enthusiasm of the moment. Without adaptability, what remains may be channeled into destructive fanaticism. Without positive obsession, there is nothing at all.” – Octavia Butler

This poem is about how we build a groove with our repetitive actions, positive or negative. I am in the groove of black feminism, my persistent life-shaping practice (along with my other repetitive practices some of which are groovy and some of which are just ruts.) What are you positively obsessed with? Do you have any obsessions that are digging you into a rut? When have been times when you ended up just where you were supposed to be, not because you knew how to get there, but just because you were who you are, doing what you came to do?

We would love your support as we gather at the Dark Sciences: People of Color Dream Retreat! We are excited about our newest cosponsor Charis Books and More! http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/


#7 Planning (Hallelujah)

#7 Planning (Hallelujah): After Brightest Star Poem from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“A victim of God may, through learning and adaption, become a partner of God. A victim of God may, through forethought and planning, become a shaper of God.” -Octavia Butler

“Poetry is planning.” -Patricia Torres

This poem is about my ongoing mission to try to wake up before my fear starts to run the show. Some people stay up beyond the point where their fear goes to sleep. Why does fear shape so much of the day? What does it mean to live in a capitalist week? Our dreams and the edges of our days are sometimes the juiciest most transformative moments. What if the whole day, week, year, was shaped like dreams?

What do you think? Do you wake up early? Stay up late? Sneak to the bathroom in the middle of work to write poems? Make a secret blog during meetings? Share in the comments.

And please support Dark Sciences: A People of Color Dream Retreat​ Check the following link out to see the perks! alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/
We are soo grateful for our newest donors and our newest cosponsor Maximize Good!!!


#6 Intelligence is Demanding

#6 Intelligence is Demanding: After Brightest Star from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“Intelligence is ongoing individual adaptation…Yet intelligence is demanding.” -Octavia Butler

This poem is about how demanding intelligence is and how hard it is to plot the points of change when all our points of adaptations are different and linked. How do you make decisions with groups of people? Does intelligence ever hinder you? Does the combined intelligence of everyone in the room sometimes make you unintelligible to each other? How does a group trust its evolutionary gut? Please share with friends and share your experiences in the comments.

If you want to see all the videos so far go to alexispauline.com/afterbrighteststar. And if you want to donate to the dream retreat and get a one on one consult ($101 perk) or the text of these poems ($15 perk) or a print of Audre Lorde dreaming about us ($35 perk) go to http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/

We are so proud that Art in Praxis and River Rose Apothecary are our newest dream retreat co-sponsors!


#5 tricksterteacherchaosclay

tricksterteacherchaosclay: after brightest star poem #5 from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“God is pliable—Trickster, Teacher, Chaos, Clay. God exists to be shaped. God is Change.” – Octavia Butler

Today’s poem is about our process of shaping and being shaped by the clay and mud, the land around us. It acknowledges that the ancestors are literally present in the land beneath our feet and that the earth and sun can become a kiln revealing who we are and who we are not. What have you learned from the consequences of your collective decisions? Has there ever been a period in your collective organizing where it seemed like the tendency was to decide NOT to decide? Or where a “not no” was more likely than a yes?

As always, it would be great to see your thoughts in the comments section. And if you’d like to invest in the continued dreaming of POC please support Dark Sciences: A People of Color Dream Retreat coming up this summer: www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/

If you donate $15+ I will send you the full series of “After Brightest Star” poems.
If you donate $101 we can have a one on one dream consultation.
Email me at brokenbeautifulpress at gmail dot com if your organization is interested in cosponsoring the retreat!

To watch all of the videos so far visit: alexispauline.com/afterbrighteststar


#4 attend god

attend god (after brightest star poem #4) from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“We perceive and attend God. We learn from God…we are Earthseed and God is change.” -Octavia Butler

This poem is about how sometimes (always) we are learning lessons we didn’t sign up to learn. Or did we? We thought we had joined the people of color collective for access to land and a hopeful future. We find out that our first overwhelming access is to lack and the trauma of everyone’s past. What are lessons that you have learned, especially in your work collectively organizing…that you didn’t realize at the time were exactly the lessons you needed? What are the lessons that you are still learning? What are the lessons you wish we could collectively move past already?

As always, we would love it if you would contribute to the Dark Sciences People of Color Dream Retreat: www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/

And to see all the videos so far and the introduction check out: http://alexispauline.com/afterbrighteststar


#3 Green

Poem #3 Green: After Brightest Star from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

“A gift of god may sear unready fingers.”-Octavia Butler

Today’s poem is about what it means to receive gifts that we are not ready to handle. What does it mean to be over-prepared for the worst case scenario and under-prepared for the best case scenario? In your collective organizing have you ever been overwhelmed by an influx of resources? What has sudden abundance taught you about the existing or lacking structures of your collectives? Have you ever tried to offer a resource that your community wasn’t ready to receive?

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts. And if you want to have some indepth conversations about resources, water, wide distances and love sign up for Maroon Studies Session 2: Necessary as Water through Brilliance Remastered: http://www.alexispauline.com/brillianceremastered/2015/06/16/maroon-studies-intensive-2-necessary-as-water/

And we would love it if you donated to the scholarship fund for Dark Sciences: People of Color Dream Retreat:
http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/


#2 Own Drummer

Own Drummer: After Brightest Star Poem #2 from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

This is poem number 2 of my dream memoir about love, land, failure and POC collective organizing. It is inspired by Octavia Butler’s Earthseed verse “All that you touch you change. All that you change changes you. The only lasting truth is change. God is change.” Turn the volume all the way up!

I would love to hear your thoughts on change and touch and land. How do we deal with the lasting truth of change when so much of what we are organizing for as POC has to do with forms of stability that have been taken from us by displacement and violence? Have you ever made choices in your organizing that have to do with just not wanting to have to change everything again (move to a new place? leave a job? challenge a community you have helped build?)

As always, infinite love. And if you want to support the Dark Sciences: People of Color Dream Retreat you can donate here:

http://www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/

Donate $101+ for a one on one dream conversation with me and $15+ for a pdf of this dream memoir.


#1 Take. Root.

Take. Root.: After Brightest Star Poem #1 from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on Vimeo.

Take. Root. “The destiny of Earthseed / is to take root among the stars.” -Octavia Butler

On Octavia Butler’s birthday I am sharing the first in installment of my dream memoir. 35 poems I wrote last summer in conversation with Octavia Butler’s Earthseed verses and dedicated to Earthseed, a people of color land collective based in Durham, NC. Today’s prompt is “How do you take root?” (Is the emphasis on “take”?) What is your relationship to land and community. What are the politics of where you live and how? What have you learned from failures and setbacks of renting, buying, collectively owning, splitting up shared stuff after break ups of relationships or collectives? Reply in the comments or send me an email at brokenbeautifulpress at gmail dot com!

And dreams are collective resources! Support the Dark Sciences People of Color Dream Retreat happening in Austin, TX this August. More info below:

www.alexispauline.com/apgblog/cause-view/support-dark-sciences-a-people-of-color-dream-retreat/