Audre Forever: Complexity and Eternity from the Daughter Dreams Intensive

28161936_10103736590564352_982079555889126567_oToday is Audre Lorde’s birthday!  A high holy holiday in the universe.  Look how many people are wearing geles and celebratory African garb this weekend.  I’m sure she appreciates it! :)   This is also the last poem that I am sharing from our Daughter Dreams Intensive, which could mean it’s my favorite.  We wrote it after working with Audre Lorde’s poem “From the House of Yemanja” where she writes about mothering and dreaming and existing beyond binaries.  It’s one of my favorite poems (you’ll catch me saying that about all her poems) and it’s a poem that theorists have often returned to in order to theorize Audre Lorde’s ideas about mothering, identity and diaspora.  It talks about not being the daughter her mother wanted, it talks about the different ways mothers feed and frighten and fail their daughters and it invokes the mother of the orisha, the ocean, all life.

Our poem came out of our work to embrace the complexity of who we are, a wholeness of contradictions and healing.  There is not resolution but there is the ongoing (forever) complexity of our co-evolution, our continued dreaming.  We celebrate the eternity of the Lorde and the multiplicity of you.

With love,

Alexis Pauline

P.S. It’s also my grandfather Jeremiah Gumbs’s birthday today.  He’s the person who inspired my love of poetry and therefore the one who led me to the Lorde!

P.S.  Sign up for M/otherlands: Audre Lorde and Daughtering in Diaspora here!

I Am (Forever)

 

by the participants in the Daughter Dreams Intensive

 

“I am the sun and moon and forever hungry

for her eyes.”

-Audre Lorde “From the House of Yemanja”

 

I am soft and moon and forever reflecting.

I am unapologetic and myself and forever seeking freedom.

I am yes and yes and forever in balance.

 

I am sad and grateful and forever sacred.

I am tears and heart and forever movement.

I am honey and tears and forever medicine.

 

I am dangerous and full of silk and forever loved.

I am other and more than and forever expansive.

I am compassion and truth and forever desire.

 

I am Taurus sun and Taurus moon and forever Gemini rising.

I am tarot and oracle and forever conjuring.

I am word and fire and forever troublemaking.

 

I am god and goddess little girl and a devil’s advocate and forever loved to eternity.

I am raven and loving beautiful things and forever shapeshifting.

I am me, ever transforming and them, ever transmitting and forever everything that magic can contain.

 

I am filled and fulfilled and I am forever with space/time/energy enough for more love.

I am the water and the vessel and forever sailing across boundary lines.

 

I am cosmic and flowing and forever feeling.

I am love and love and forever everywhere.

I am the universe and the universe is forever me.

 

I am dance and song and forever spirit.

I am music and rhythm and forever heartbeat.

I am the hum, and the open mouth, and forever a room full of singing.

 

This intensive is part of the M is for M/othering Ourselves Webinar Series, leading up to the release of M Archive: After the End of the World by Alexis Pauline Gumbs on March 9th 2018.  This webinar series offers a deep dive into the key concepts of Audre Lorde’s work as a queer regenerative resource.

Daughtering Ourselves: Some Messages from the Child Within

stock-photo--greeting-chinese-new-year-card-with-stylized-dog-one-color-print-illustration-black-on-763480585It’s the Lunar New Year.  Actually it’s my Lunar rebirth.  I was born in the year of the dog.  I am being reborn now.  One of the guiding questions of the M/otherourselves Webinar Series for me is what does it mean to daughter ourselves? How is it different from and related to mothering ourselves?  What are the engendering and ungendering possibilities?

During the Daughter Dreams intensive we listened to our inner children and here is some of the wisdom they brought.We will continue to explore these themes in the upcoming M/otherlands Intensive: Audre Lorde and Daughtering in Diaspora at the end of this month.  (Click on the link to sign up, there are about 2 spots left.)

Enjoy the poem! I recommend repeating this wisdom aloud.

 

The Child Speaks

by the participants in the Daughter Dreams intensive

 

“But I just washed them, Mommy!”

 

-Audre Lorde “Blackstudies”

 

get your hands dirty. cover yourself in mud and leaves and dandelion petals. dig. become intimate with the ground. leap groundward.

 

What you felt then is still with you now, what you have, who you have, all you have is in you, apart of. Choose to love.

 

Play. Play. Play. Make a beautiful mess. Be light. Lighter than you’ve ever been. Release whatever is heavy. Love me

 

i am NOT too much. i’m just the right amount.

 

This intensive is part of the M is for M/othering Ourselves Webinar Series, leading up to the release of M Archive: After the End of the World by Alexis Pauline Gumbs on March 9th 2018.  This webinar series offers a deep dive into the key concepts of Audre Lorde’s work as a queer regenerative resource.

Some of Our Names for Darkness: Daughter Dreams

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Yesterday I spoke on the phone with my mentor Jacqui Alexander and while we mostly spoke about M Archive: After the End of the World she also gave me an assignment to share my thoughts and any favorite reviews about Black Panther which premiered nationwide last night.  And then last night I watched the film with an intergenerational loud diasporic crew of Black folks.  I am interested in this major scale of rebranded Blackness and how it has and will continue to influence intergenerational iconography and ideas about Africa, Blackness, technology, resources and the dark.

Last month, during the Daughter Dreams intensive we worked with Audre Lorde’s poem “Blackstudies” as an intergenerational, image-rich text about imagining blackness consciously and through our nightmares and dreams.  Our intensive was also intergenerational and included at least one of Audre Lorde’s former students, part of the group of students she worries about at the end of the poem (“what shall they carve for weapons/what shall they grow for food.”)  And of course the poem is concerned with all of us, the generations impacted by the existence of waves of Black cultural revolution and Black Studies (under all it’s subsequent names).  In Lorde’s poem she connects this intergenerational concern with her personal healing from the way her mother taught her internalized racism and punished her for being the darkest daughter in a light-skinned Afro-Caribbean family.  By accessing her dreams, her prayers and her lack of access to prayer, Lorde reminds us how deep the work of naming and un-naming goes.

During our intensive the participants went just as deep, bravely and sincerely plumbing the depths of the connections between our internalized oppression, our closest relationships and our most cherished and feared dreams.  Gratitude to the Lorde who gave us names for so many things.  Gratitude to the generations that have named and reclaimed darkness, Blackness and the night.   Here are some of our names for darkness.

Some of Our Names for Darkness

by the participants in the Daughter Dreams Intensive 

“and when my mother punished me

by sending me to be without my prayers

i had no names for darkness.”

 

Audre Lorde, “Blackstudies”

 

 

love.

peace.

where you are where I can always reach you.

home.

knowing what I know I know.

my words make darkness for me to live inside.

love.

dark matter.

velvet.

illusion-

the rest of the Light I haven’t learned yet.

the rest of the Light I haven’t learned to see yet.

shapeshifter.

black honey.

energy to revitalize.

repair.

Owl.

friend.

pathway to the barn.

basement.

grandmas root cellar

spaces of food and fear

trunks filled with aunties journals and secret relationships

I read them all

freedom under darkness

who feels brave to walk? to fly?

Coyote.

Owl.

night creatures.

my cat wants to go out under darkness.

the night I was followed home.

everyone is asleep but I am still woke.

I am running.

I am hiding.

I am hungry.

I am angry once I am safe.

my rage is born of darkness.

it goes dark.

dreams come.

I love my dreams.

I wear them all ways.

always.

 

P.S.  There are 4 more spots in this month’s intensive M/otherlands: Audre Lorde and Daughtering in Diaspora.  Click the link for information and to sign up.

This intensive is part of the M is for M/othering Ourselves Webinar Series, leading up to the release of M Archive: After the End of the World by Alexis Pauline Gumbs on March 9th 2018.  This webinar series offers a deep dive into the key concepts of Audre Lorde’s work as a queer regenerative resource.

 

The Message: Intuitive Permission from the Daughter Dreams Intensive

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Today I am in Hawaii listening to new and old messages from whales.  And I thought you, wherever you are might want some permission for listening.  Here are some messages from the participants in the Daughter Dreams Intensive.   And FYI the upcoming M/otherlands Intensive (Audre Lorde and Daughtering in Diaspora) is over half full already so sign up if you want to participate.

The Message

 

“It is a time when the bearer of hard news

is destroyed for the message

when it is heard.”

 

Audre Lorde “Blackstudies”

 

 

Listen to your intuition and let the heart speak.

 

There is nothing you can do to save anyone but yourself…but you are precious enough to save.

 

Shapeshift. Become the earthworm. Journey into the deep dark crevices of Mother Earth and be healed. You can go there in your imagination/reality.

 

Learn to love yourself. Deeply. Unconditionally. In spite of, regardless of, despite what the world around you and those in it try to make you believe.

 

Shit doesn’t have to make sense.

M/otherlands: Audre Lorde and Daughtering in Diaspora

Audre-Bilder-Filmprojekt-078

Photo by Dagmar Schultz

M/otherlands: Audre Lorde and Daughtering In Diaspora

Feb 26-28 6pm-9pm Eastern Time

“To the average Grenadian, the United States is a large but dim presence where some dear relative now lives…Grenada is their country.  I am only a relative.”

-Audre Lorde, Grenada Revisited

“But blood will tell, and now the blood is speaking.”

-Audre Lorde, Apartheid USA

 

Audre Lorde paused the publication of her enduring book of essays Sister Outsider to write about her second visit to Grenada, the country where her mother was from and where her parents met.   In her bio-mythography Zami,
Lorde explains that though she grew up in Harlem, her family never considered the United States “home.”  Home was always in the Caribbean.  And yet, as an adult when Audre Lorde “returned” to Grenada for the first time, it was more complicated.  She learned family secrets that had been hidden for years, she found siblings she had never known about, and when shortly after her first visit the US invaded Grenada, she had to decide how to relate to her power and privilege as a US citizen alongside her solidarity with Grenada as a place of shared and distinct heritage, identity and politics, as a majority-Black socialist state.

Many of us have complicated relationships to parentage, heritage and the idea of home.  This intensive will draw on Audre Lorde’s exploration of this theme especially in regards of her lived and imagined relationships with Black women in Grenada and Carriacou, St. Croix, Anguilla, and South Africa in order to prompt our own insights about daughtership, migration, belonging, longing and ideas of accountability and responsibility.  This intensive is for all of us, and with special accountability to participants who are part of immigrant families or who have migrated without their families, those of us who have been displaced through gentrification and other forms of colonialism, those of us who have had to flee political and/or interpersonal violence and anyone who had a complicated intergenerational to the idea of “home.”

Tuition for this three day online intensive is sliding scale $125-275.   All possible payment plans are available. Just let me know.

This intensive is limited to 9 participants.

Reserve your spot with a $50 (non-refundable) deposit here: 

Send an email to brillianceremastered@gmail.com with your intentions (dreams) for the course by February 22nd.

If you cannot attend the course and want access to a specialized bibliography of readings on this topic by Audre Lorde, APG and other Black feminist and transnational feminist scholars (curated by APG) offer a donation of $25 or more with the note “m/otherlands bibliography” here:  

This intensive is part of the M is for M/othering Ourselves Webinar Series, leading up to the release of M Archive: After the End of the World by Alexis Pauline Gumbs on March 9th 2018.  This webinar series offers a deep dive into the key concepts of Audre Lorde’s work as a queer regenerative resource.

Soon and Now: A Ritual of Release from the Daughter Dreams Intensive

Audre+21

Last week’s Daughter Dreams Intensive rearranged my spirit and opened my soul. Twelve of us worked through our lunar eclipse and full moon revelations with the guidance and example of Audre Lorde.

One of the dream poems by Audre Lorde that we wrote with closely and bravely is what I call her freeform villanelle “Blackstudies,” written in 1973 while she was teaching at John Jay College of Criminal Justice (as the first Black faculty member in the English Department) and helping to found one of the first Black studies curricula in the country at the larger City University of New York.  This recursive poem works through the impact of repressing parts of her identity in order to participate in homophobic cultural nationalist spaces, the nightmare whiteness of academic approaches to language and learning and her own internalized racism and childhood trauma, and how all of those things impact her role as a mentor and teacher her students.   Yup. That and more.  By the end of the poem the speaker mediates on her own impermanence generationally in the movement and in the lives of her students.  Prompted by that brave move we wrote about what we no longer need and what we are now called to embrace.  As usual, I recommend that you read this out loud.

 

Soon and Now

 

“soon/ we will not need you/only your memory teaching us questions.”

 

-Audre Lorde, “Blackstudies”

 

you do not need humility

only expansive love

you do not need shock

only gratitude

you do not need control

only grace

you do not need proof

only practice

 

you do not need permission

only to step into possibility

you do not need fear of failure

only acceptance of what is

 

i do not need to hide.

only radiance.

only sweet sublimity to drink and trickle down my chin.

 

i do not need advisors

only ancestors

i do not need publications

only my words

i do not need productivity

only intuition

i do not need reputation

only my authentic self

I do not need permission

only spirit

i do not need approval

only tarot.

 

i do not need words

only presence

 

we do not need bullshit

only Love.

we do not need surface

we only need Love.

we do not need shallow

we only need analysis, skepticism, critical thinking skills, intuition, generosity, observation, and as clean an intention for the truth as we can possibly swing, all of which is to say

we only need LOVE.

 

Gumbs_cover_front (1) (1)The Daughter Dreams Intensive is part of the M is for M/otherourselves webinar series leading into the March 9th release of M Archive: After the End of the World.  All of the webinars in the series will be grounded in the work of Audre Lorde with a focus on mothering and daughtering.

The next intensive M/otherlands: Daughtering in Diaspora will be Feb 26-28th 6pm-9pm eastern time. To be sure to know when sign up opens add your email address to our list.

What if I am everyone in this dream?: Blood Lunar Eclipse Wisdom from the Daughter Dreams Intensive

skynews-nasa-blue-blood-moon_4218045Last night 12 dreamers gathered in the name of the Lorde, in the pull of the blue blood supermoon eclipse.  We were guided by Audre Lorde’s lifelong engagement with her own dreams and the dreams of her children.  With rigor, vulnerability and generosity we shared about the intersections between our dreaming and waking lives, our definitions of daughtering (daughter as a verb) and the resistance and tension that exists for us as we work at the nexus of what is expected of us and what we are called to create.  We opened ourselves up to the stretching work of facing what is and dreaming the possible at the same time.  This was the first night of our 3 day Daughter Dreams Intensive.
So…we were not watching the state of the union address. But we know that the media discourse last night was also part nightmare, part longing for the creation of something new, part bizarre fantasy, and for sure, a whole lot of tension with our lives in the balance.   Our offering for you today is the group poem we created last night prompted by a concept Audre Lorde used in her dream analysis.  What if we are all the characters in our dreams?  What if we are everyone even in this nightmare moment ( ahem: ongoing system) of white supremacist politics?  Our dreams allow us to connect to more than our ego, or our narrow sense of self and position.  What could we learn by understanding the connections between who we think we are, the greatest dangers we face, and the context holding all of it together?  We offer this poem as a ceremony towards that inquiry and maybe towards a necessary and higher form of union in our lifetimes.  I recommend that you read this aloud.
What if I am everyone in this dream?
by the participants in the Daughter Dreams Intensive
“It’s very exciting to think of me being all the people in this dream.” -Audre Lorde
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the enemy
the ally
the hero
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the sun
the moon
the stars
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the daughter
the father
the sea
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the victim
the oppressor
the liberator
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the whale
the water
the woman in white
What if I am everyone in this dream?
tilling the soil
naming the plots,
planting the seeds
What if I am everyone in this dream?
I am the grizzly bear
the loyal dog
the child
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the warrior
the lover
the killer robot
What if I am everyone in this dream about a 38 year old woman returning to high school because she has some unfinished business:
the returning student
the teacher offering gentle guidance
the young peers watching with curiousity
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the doorway
the window
the floor
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the fearful
the brave
the relief
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the child
the silent one
the home
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the monster
the seeker
the companion
What if I am everyone in this dream?
I am the eagle
the mother
the daughter
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the priestess
the flowers
the light
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the doula
the daughter
wanda
What if I am everyone in this dream?
 the Embracing Universe in which it All happens,
The Higher Self whose fingers are splashing around in this world as…
ME, recently awakened to being lovingly, compassionately everyone else – so as to Learn.
To learn to Love,
To love and Grow,
To grow and Expand,
To expand and Joyfully remember that I am
Everyone in this Dream…
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the brave
the scared
the satisfied
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the intruder
the safe room
the resident
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the silent brother
the seeking sister
the unanswered phone
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the patriarch
the visionary
the masses
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the water
the echo
the voice
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the student
the playwright
the play
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the peace
the fight
the fear
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the land
the keepers
the prospectors
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the car
the accident
the aftermath
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the betrayed
the betrayer
the lover
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the lazy
the over-achiever
the just-to-get-by
What if I am everyone in this dream?
seed
sun
soil
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the narcissist
the doubter
the believer
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the grief
the ghost
the left behind
What if I am everyone in this dream?
a deep dark hole in the earth
an endless tunnel
an unlit match
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the pain
the blood
the tears
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the giver of no dams
of all the “dams”
and the oblivious
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the depressed
the joyful
the healer
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the cause
the effect
the idea
What if I am everyone in this dream?
babba
the waiting room chair
the disappeared
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the ship
the captives
the sharks
What if I am everyone in this dream?
my mother tongue
the listener
the speaker
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the destruction
the salvation
the remains
What if I am everyone in this dream?
The Darcell
The Ethel Ray
The me
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the angry
the wounded
the writer
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the sister who lives
the sister who dies
the landing
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the Indigenous mother
the colonizer father
the Metis
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the escape
the runner
the chaser
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the good intent
the bad choice
the dream
What if I am everyone in this dream?
the flight
the clouds
gravity
What if I am everyone in this dream?
you
Audre
me.

Gumbs_cover_front (1) (1)The Daughter Dreams Intensive is part of the M is for M/otherourselves webinar series leading into the March 9th release of M Archive: After the End of the World.  All of the webinars in the series will be grounded in the work of Audre Lorde with a focus on mothering and daughtering.

To be sure to know when sign up opens for the next intensive (the M/otherlands intensive) add your email address to our list.

M is for M/othering Ourselves Webinar Series (2018)

The M is for M/othering Ourselves Webinar Series is leading up to the release of M Archive: After the End of the World by Alexis Pauline Gumbs on March 9th 2018.  This webinar series offers a deep dive into the key concepts of Audre Lorde’s work as a queer regenerative resource.

Audre-Bilder-Filmprojekt-078

Photo by Dagmar Schultz

M/otherlands: Audre Lorde and Daughtering In Diaspora

Feb 26-28 6pm-9pm Eastern Time

“To the average Grenadian, the United States is a large but dim presence where some dear relative now lives…Grenada is their country.  I am only a relative.”

-Audre Lorde, Grenada Revisited

“But blood will tell, and now the blood is speaking.”

-Audre Lorde, Apartheid USA

Audre Lorde paused the publication of her enduring book of essays Sister Outsider to write about her second visit to Grenada, the country where her mother was from and where her parents met.   In her bio-mythography Zami,
Lorde explains that though she grew up in Harlem, her family never considered the United States “home.”  Home was always in the Caribbean.  And yet, as an adult when Audre Lorde “returned” to Grenada for the first time, it was more complicated.  She learned family secrets that had been hidden for years, she found siblings she had never known about, and when shortly after her first visit the US invaded Grenada, she had to decide how to relate to her power and privilege as a US citizen alongside her solidarity with Grenada as a place of shared and distinct heritage, identity and politics, as a majority-Black socialist state.

Many of us have complicated relationships to parentage, heritage and the idea of home.  This intensive will draw on Audre Lorde’s exploration of this theme especially in regards of her lived and imagined relationships with Black women in Grenada and Carriacou, St. Croix, Anguilla, and South Africa in order to prompt our own insights about daughtership, migration, belonging, longing and ideas of accountability and responsibility.  This intensive is for all of us, and with special accountability to participants who are part of immigrant families or who have migrated without their families, those of us who have been displaced through gentrification and other forms of colonialism, those of us who have had to flee political and/or interpersonal violence and anyone who had a complicated intergenerational to the idea of “home.”

Tuition for this three day online intensive is sliding scale $125-275.   All possible payment plans are available. Just let me know.

This intensive is limited to 9 participants.

Reserve your spot with a $50 (non-refundable) deposit here: 

Send an email to brillianceremastered@gmail.com with your intentions (dreams) for the course by February 22nd.

If you cannot attend the course and want access to a specialized bibliography of readings on this topic by Audre Lorde, APG and other Black feminist and transnational feminist scholars (curated by APG) offer a donation of $25 or more with the note “m/otherlands bibliography” here:  

This intensive is part of the M is for M/othering Ourselves Webinar Series, leading up to the release of M Archive: After the End of the World by Alexis Pauline Gumbs on March 9th 2018.  This webinar series offers a deep dive into the key concepts of Audre Lorde’s work as a queer regenerative resource.

lordeDaughter Dreams:  Audre Lorde and the Darkness We Need Now

Tues January 30th to Thurs Feb 1

7pm-10pm Eastern Time

“mother I need your blackness now”

-Audre Lorde in “From the House of Yemanja”

Some say daughters are made of dreams. The unfulfilled dreams of mothers, the unspoken dreams of fathers. In capitalist patriarchy the word “daughter” carries with it obligation, unrewarded labor and generational anxieties that are gendered, racialized, and economic. But what if we can have an experience of daughtering that is NOT bound by patriarchal or binary gender? What if the nightdreams of those of us who are here daughtering escape the predictability of our days?

Audre Lorde documented her dreams and the dreams of her children.  She wrote of nightmares about her mother, police violence, and the academy in her poetry.  She assigned her poetry students to keep dream journals as a major source for the poem that would construct what she called “the skeleton architecture of our lives.”

This intensive is the place where daughter meets water.  Based on Alexis Pauline Gumbs’s essay “Daughter Dreams and the Teaching Life of Audre Lorde,” which activates Audre Lorde’s poetry, essays and journaled dreams to argue for a deep dark queer archive of mothering and daughtering, this online intensive will use writing, reflection, oracles and Black feminist theoretical and poetic praxis to connect each of us to our individual and collective archives of alternate possible lives and a transformed relationship to the complexity of daughter-work.

Tuition for this three day online intensive is sliding scale $125-275.   All possible payment plans are available. Just let me know.

This intensive is limited to 9 participants.

Reserve your spot with a $50 (non-refundable) deposit here: 

Send an email to brillianceremastered@gmail.com with your intentions (dreams) for the course by January 26th.

If you cannot attend the course and want access to a specialized bibliography of readings on this topic by Audre Lorde, APG and other Black feminist scholars (curated by APG) offer a donation of $25 or more with the note “daughter dreams bibliography” here:   

 

Daughter Dreams Intensive: Audre Lorde and the Darkness We Need Now

lordeDaughter Dreams:  Audre Lorde and the Darkness We Need Now

Tues January 30th to Thurs Feb 1

7pm-10pm Eastern Time

“mother I need your blackness now”

-Audre Lorde in “From the House of Yemanja”

 

Some say daughters are made of dreams. The unfulfilled dreams of mothers, the unspoken dreams of fathers. In capitalist patriarchy the word “daughter” carries with it obligation, unrewarded labor and generational anxieties that are gendered, racialized, and economic. But what if we can have an experience of daughtering that is NOT bound by patriarchal or binary gender? What if the nightdreams of those of us who are here daughtering escape the predictability of our days?

Audre Lorde documented her dreams and the dreams of her children.  She wrote of nightmares about her mother, police violence, and the academy in her poetry.  She assigned her poetry students to keep dream journals as a major source for the poem that would construct what she called “the skeleton architecture of our lives.”

This intensive is the place where daughter meets water.  Based on Alexis Pauline Gumbs’s essay “Daughter Dreams and the Teaching Life of Audre Lorde,” which activates Audre Lorde’s poetry, essays and journaled dreams to argue for a deep dark queer archive of mothering and daughtering, this online intensive will use writing, reflection, oracles and Black feminist theoretical and poetic praxis to connect each of us to our individual and collective archives of alternate possible lives and a transformed relationship to the complexity of daughter-work.

 

Tuition for this three day online intensive is sliding scale $125-275.   All possible payment plans are available. Just let me know.

This intensive is limited to 9 participants.

Reserve your spot with a $50 (non-refundable) deposit here: 

Send an email to brillianceremastered@gmail.com with your intentions (dreams) for the course by January 26th.

If you cannot attend the course and want access to a specialized bibliography of readings on this topic by Audre Lorde, APG and other Black feminist scholars (curated by APG) offer a donation of $25 or more with the note “daughter dreams bibliography” here:  

This is part of the M is for M/othering Ourselves Webinar Series, leading up to the release of M Archive: After the End of the World by Alexis Pauline Gumbs on March 9th 2018.  This webinar series offers a deep dive into the key concepts of Audre Lorde’s work as a queer regenerative resource.

When Wind and Water Get You: Surrender in the Face of the Storm

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All day yesterday I was in a panic.  Hurricane Irma was battering the islands in the eastern Caribbean, specifically Anguilla and St. Martin, islands on which every single person is literally my cousin.   And pictures were flooding my timeline.  Pictures of actual floods, buildings torn apart, trees uprooted, cars tossed around like playthings.  The cemetery where my grandparents and father are buried? I would have to dive to get there. The buildings on Rendezvous Bay where my family lives? Unrecognizable.  My family has not even been able to afford expensive hurricane insurance, has not even rebuilt from the last major hurricane in the area.   Why should all that slave trade rage stirred up of the coast of West Africa dispossess the descendants of the enslaved again and again.  Yesterday as I anxiously awaited news from relatives I felt betrayed by every hurricane ever, by wind and water.

But two weeks ago I was writing with a community of artists, poets, scholars and activists about what it means to surrender to wind and water.   And this poem that we created together was what I needed to revisit in order to remember that even in the most volatile circumstances wind and and water have got me.  They have got us.  Our society trains us to believe that the systems that we have created out of fear are eternal and they are not.  Capitalism has trained me to believe that man-made structures are what make my life possible.  This has never been true.  Join me in revisiting a poem we created with deep knowing and without knowing why and how it would be relevant right now.

 

When Wind and Water Love You

by the participants in the Briliance Remastered When Wind and Water Got You Intensive

 

“if wind and water got you that means wind and water got you. there is no little bit about their lashing love.”

-from Dub: Finding Ceremony by Alexis Pauline Gumbs 

when wind and water love you

you have everything you need

when wind and water love you

there is no distance between you and the past

when wind and water love you

you can hear the ancestors teaching

when wind and water love you

there is no place they will not be with you

when wind and water love you

you are surrounded by love wherever you go

when wind and water love you

all your grandmothers are dancing

when wind and water love you

your doubts dissolve like tears

when wind and water love you

you don’t have to know your name (and you can)

when wind and water love you

it’s still okay to be afraid

when wind and water love you

you can trust that you are supported by the ancestors, always

when wind and water love you

you can trust yourself

when wind and water love you

coyote and wolf will trust the bones of their ancestors to you

when wind and water love you

turtles will trust their babies to you

when wind and water love you

you know the trees have your back

when wind and water love you

trees bend and are yet still beautiful

when wind and water love you

you feel so clear about your worth that you never have to compete with others again

when wind and water love you

you see the isolated ones and reach out

when wind and water love you

there is abundance. there is no hunger.

when wind and water love you

you will overthrow all oppressive paradigms

when wind and water love you

you will have visions of the formations of crystals

when wind and water love you

you will be invited into the iridescent cave

when wind and water love you

we sparkle like amythest

when wind and water love you

all is in motion, in storm formation

when wind and water love you

there is peace

when wind and water love you

you sleep in sacred sound

when wind and water love you

your daily life takes on the quality of ritual

when wind and water love you

everything thought to be lost, is found

when wind and water love you

you are in the crossing and carrying the crossings of your ancestors

when wind and water love you

you are always listening, always heard

when wind and water love you

the Elders and the unborn are singing together

when wind and water love you

your hands are made ready to catch the new world on her way

when wind and water love you

you will remember your childlike sense of wonder at this miraculous world

when wind and water love you

you are inspired to fearlessly share all your revolutionary dreams

when wind and water love you

you carry the adventure inside and every place is also home

when wind and water love you

everything they touch, touches you

when wind and water love you

the poem is everywhere

when wind and water love you

it is possible

when wind and water love you

you will always be at home

 

when wind and water got you

you can see from mountaintops and feel as deeply as the sea

when wind and water got you

knowing, magic and mystery are your guides

when wind and water got you

you don’t gotta do nothin else

when wind and water got you

you good, fam